Only then are we ready for other love relationships.
An autonomous individual is one who does not experience his or her self-esteem as continually in question or in jeopardy. His or her worth is not a matter of continuing doubt. The source of approval resides within self. It is not at the mercy of ever Of the various factors that are vital for success of romantic love, none is more important than self-esteem.
It is not at the mercy of every encounter with another person. Oct 27, Reemda rated it really liked it. Super interesting book, a lot of food for thought. I really enjoyed going through the history of romantic love in the beginning of the book.
The only thing I wasn't too fond of was the ending which was full of politically correct stuff like "divorce doesn't mean a marriage has failed". Just not my cup of tea.
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Dec 13, Phil rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Everyone. The book addresses every conceivable aspect of romantic relationships and offers a wealth of insights and examples that can help people create a healthier, more intimate relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, this book can help you make your next relationship a suc f you are in a relationship or want to be in a relationship—which is pretty much everybody! If you are not currently in a relationship, this book can help you make your next relationship a successful one.
The book was published in I suspect that if it had been published in , it would have been a runaway bestseller. Branden writes with great clarity and precision. I found myself repeatedly impressed with how he expressed complicated subjects so concisely and powerfully. Originally published in , Branden updated it in In both books, he shares a sentence-completion exercise that is remarkably effective at helping people express their true feelings about a topic.
In effect, my emancipation consists of having two jobs. How do I get my husband to understand that I need help in running the house?
A: We once presented this problem at an Intensive to a group of men whose wives or girlfriends held jobs ranging from the secretarial to the executive. Most of them acknowledged feeling that regardless of any work a woman did outside, the home was her first responsibility. Sep 10, John rated it it was amazing Shelves: philosophy , psychology , relationships-singleness.
Nathaniel Branden, after his disagreement with Ayn Rand, still kept his beliefs more or less in alignment with objectivism and individualism, and as a psychologist he adds a lot of aspects into the philosophy. He is a great thinker in his own right and is very capable of bringing philosophy and psychology into alignment with each other. Especially important and intriguing is the take he has on love that I for a long time needed to find a book like this on , and in this book he explains how love, Nathaniel Branden, after his disagreement with Ayn Rand, still kept his beliefs more or less in alignment with objectivism and individualism, and as a psychologist he adds a lot of aspects into the philosophy.
Especially important and intriguing is the take he has on love that I for a long time needed to find a book like this on , and in this book he explains how love, and romantic love, is selfish to the core. I have made a few own thoughts on love and how it relates to selfishness and individuality, how one must be a whole and mature individual to be fully capable of loving another and to recognize the same and similar values in the other.
Branden both reinforced many of my views but more importantly and added to them, inspired and gave a good foundation to build further on.
This book with its message and the view of love it proposes is one that has to be consider and that I find very much in alignment with reality. It is also very practical as it identifies many of the good things and the bad behind relationships. I recognize a well founded argument and this is full of them, even though there are some generalization going on - but those are for the reader to distinguish.
Read it, be challenged, be informed and be inspired. Oct 03, Iulia rated it really liked it.
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Aug 30, Karlyn rated it it was ok Shelves: , nonfiction. I had really mixed feelings about this book. That alone was enough for the book to leave a sour taste in my mouth.
Apr 15, Ron Sharp Jr. Just finished, and already want to read it again to reinforce my understanding. Branden begins with an interesting cross-cultural history of romance, and ends with a critique of society's weakening of the word "love". An early pioneer in the study of self-esteem, he has much to offer on a variety of topics, challenging both the forlorn cynic and the hyper-romantic dreamer. Apr 24, Lisa Harmonybites rated it really liked it Shelves: non-fiction , psychology , self-help.
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Nathaniel Branden was once a close disciple of Ayn Rand--although he was purged from the ranks of her inner circle. You can certainly see her influence in this book--it's very self centered--and I don't mean to denigrate it by calling that. Branden's "The Psychology of Self-Esteem simply argues for the importance of self-esteem in a healthy psychology--and I'd agree with that.
How revolutionary it is--as claimed on the cover of that book--I can't really judge. I do know that his theories fall in Nathaniel Branden was once a close disciple of Ayn Rand--although he was purged from the ranks of her inner circle. I do know that his theories fall into what's known as "cognitive psychology" which believes what ideas you hold are of crucial importance to the psyche. Aaron T. Beck is noted as the father of cognitive therapy in the Wiki--and his book, Cognitive Therapy of Depression , came out decades after Branden's The Psychology of Self-Esteem , which was first published in That book contained the chapter "Self-Esteem and Romantic Love.
As it says on the cover, the purpose of the book is to consider: What love is, why love is born, why it sometimes grows, why it sometimes dies. I found this book when I was barely out of my teens, and I found it very appealing that it even tried to deal with such questions, let alone attempted answers. Just about everything I'd read or heard before this book by shrugging their shoulders and basically saying love is what it is--which frustrated me no end.
I loved his chapter on the "Muttnik Principle"--that the core of romantic love and close friendship is the need to be visible. To be seen and understood for who we are. I found this a thought-provoking and valuable book. Even if I take off a star because decades later, I understand a little better why so many would shrug and throw up their hands trying to understand romantic love. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
The book raises a lot of important points that we tend to not know, forget, or are unable to confront.
The Psychology of Romantic Love
Basically, if I could summarise the book, which I hate doing so because its so awesome that YOU have to pick the book up yourself and read it in its entirety ' is that self-esteem is MOST important to you loving the other person who could be an extension of yourself. Two whole beings, those who know the true fact that in the end we are all alone, and accepts that fact and knows how to survive The book raises a lot of important points that we tend to not know, forget, or are unable to confront. Two whole beings, those who know the true fact that in the end we are all alone, and accepts that fact and knows how to survive and fully appreciate and believe in what one is - then one two of these, meet, you get the willful 'surrender' of sovereignty, but not to the fullest extent as, remember, one can live without the other.
Some people say self-confidence is important too. But does that not come under self-esteem? Communication - not just in the surface, but communicating what's deep within you and listening, like REALLY listening, to the other's as well. Anyways, I will keep it to this. I want people to go ahead and get their own copies. For those who have been trying to find and understand what makes love work, and what doesn't, look no further, for this book helps solve it.